10/20/2004
Manhunt Update: Big Boys Don't Cry
Here I am again, and yes, like a tractor beam guiding an errant rebel fighter into the Death Star, Manhunt pulled me toward the TV, held me in its sissy clutches for an hour and shook me till I bled Nair. Last week's episode drew 453,000 viewers with more males watching than females. Good work guys. And Reality Blurred reports that Bravo will be giving away free Manhunt posters to those of you having viewing parties. Now there's an incentive.
As predicted, A&F boy Kevin Peake was revealed as the embedded model. It's funny how the word "embedded" most recently came to describe journalists sent on dangerous missions with troops in Iraq. Now suddenly it's cropping up in reality shows with Carmen Electra. Thought I'd point that out.
This episode's "task" was a modeling shoot on the roof of the Standard Hotel at three in the morning, which these boys did not face like brave soldiers going into battle. Instead, they moaned, whined, and barked about how horrible it was to be awakened at such an ungodly hour and be made to take an elevator to the roof and submerge themselves in the cold pool of the Standard Hotel. I sure felt sorry for them.
The photo shoot itself seemed to go well, although the reactions of the models to their partner, Sports Illustrated model Marisa Miller, were of four varieties:
1. This.
2. I'll just flex my abs like this and...oh! She's in the picture too?
3. All I really want to do is touch her breast, dude.
4. I'm a homosexual, and I have no idea how to interact with a chick with tits.
Last week's escapade between Tate, Kevin P., and the downtown hos (one of whom fell down drunk in the hallway and singlehandedly provided the most laugh-inducing moment of last week — no wonder they replayed it) was brought to a head as the boys had a somber and serious "talking to" by the other models.
During this lecture, as Seth was making an important point about hotel rape and the Kobe Bryant case, subtitles suddenly appeared on screen. Right, Bravo. We didn't understand what he was talking about either.
Realizing that they all looked like bitches and whined like bitches, model Casey had a revelation: "I'm living with a bunch of bitches dude. It's ridiculous."
Kevin Peake reacted as well: "I'm excited cause I hear everybody hates me so far." And we all know you're embedded so that makes good TV, right?
Finally (after taking not a whit of embedded model Kevin Peake's most likely jealousy-inspired advice to cut Matt and Hunter), the judges rejected four more of our boys in a heart-wrenching scene in which they had to pull the framed photos off their easels and leave immediately. But hey, at least they got to take those self-aggrandizing souvenirs!
Carmen Electra's contract obviously stipulated that she get to say something equally as dramatic (but far gayer) than Donald Trump's "You're Fired!"
The line that will now strike fear into the hearts of models everywhere?
"THAT WAS YOUR LAST SHOT."
What I really wanted to hear her say was:
"[Substitute model's name here] cries when he ejaculates."
But perhaps that's best left for another show.
Previous Manhunt Updates:
[Manhunt: Anyone Want Some Wood?]
[Attack of the Clones]
Posted 4:01 AM EST by Andy Towle in Fashion Men, Film & TV | Permalink
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Thanks for the update, Andy. I worked last night and the cable in my bedroom is out, so taping wasn't an option.
Posted by: Tom | Oct 20, 2004 11:04:00 AM
I was mildly chuckling to myself reading this until I got to the end and the line from the Desperate Housewives dinner party. I laughed out loud!
Andy---you're the best!!
Posted by: ROY | Oct 20, 2004 11:57:14 AM
Okay, so now second to the show itself, I'll be looking forward to your hilarious take on the show!:-) And yes, oddly, it's hard to look away from the screen for even a moment's time during the show.
Posted by: George | Oct 20, 2004 12:42:10 PM
i've Tivo'd ManHunt so far, but have been too afraid to watch it, so thanks for your synopsis.
Posted by: bmw | Oct 20, 2004 1:20:09 PM
Some are just ugly
Some are just pathetically dumb
Some need a clue
Some are ridiculously self absorbed
Some are WAY too serious
but then there's Matthew. With or without a hardcore workout regime, he's by far the cutest and seemingly most down to earth.
Posted by: thatmattdude | Oct 20, 2004 2:41:12 PM
I watched it last night for the first time, and the show just seems so cheesy to me. Some of the guys look really good, but not much depth and the drama of the show is so un-intersting. I'll stick with the women on "America's Top Model. :o)
Posted by: Patrick | Oct 20, 2004 3:21:23 PM
OHMYGOD I just had the biggest laugh at that "...cries when he ejaculates" line! This guy needs to write a movie. I'd watch it. In fact, if I wasn't such a hack, I'd direct it! Wait did I type that out loud?
Posted by: Toby | Oct 20, 2004 8:26:35 PM
Andy, thanks for the Manhunt update. I'm glad you're stuck in the tractor beam and not me! For now, I'll just read your hilarious take on the Zoolanders. And the kicker was the nod to "Desperate Housewives".
Posted by: MDB | Oct 20, 2004 9:33:32 PM
AND, wtf was up w/Carmens dress ... it was a 60 year old ladies dress AND the color of the wall. ewwwwwwwwwwww.
Posted by: Veronica | Oct 22, 2004 11:04:38 AM
k.......go to tel dat i am a bi and i luv da show manhunt especoiallly i lik john stallin and tat and rob............if u men actully cum on this site
please add me i realli wan to talk to u guyz
Posted by: jacy- | Dec 22, 2004 3:17:10 PM
k.......go to tel dat i am a bi and i luv da show manhunt especoiallly i lik john stallin and tat and rob............if u men actully cum on this site
please add me i realli wan to talk to u guyz
Posted by: jacy- | Dec 22, 2004 3:18:25 PM
Are you gay?
Posted by: Jack Mahogoff | Jan 1, 2005 7:45:47 PM
Hey every1,
Pls send me, an email ID or address for Seth (manhunt),If u got it.
Thank You very much for ur Kind Co operation.
Posted by: Nesh | Jan 25, 2005 9:29:13 PM
KEVIN PEAKE IS SOOOO HOTTT MMMMM SEND ME HIM IN THE MAIL AS SOON AS U CAN N MAKE HIM BRING WHIPPED CREAM>>>>DAYYYAAMMM BOY
Posted by: Juan and Jose!!(AKA SARA AND SAMMY) | Feb 5, 2005 10:21:51 PM
omg kevin peake is the sex god of all time omg omgomg sssssseeeeeeexxxxxxyyyyyy
i love u so much ahhhhhhh
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
-lya ;D
Posted by: hottie for kevin peake yummy | Feb 12, 2005 7:24:42 PM
oh my god! jon and rob are soooooo hot!i'll probably just drop down and die if i suddenly see them in person...please email me any info about them... thnx in advance!
Posted by: cheska | Feb 23, 2005 9:57:51 AM
john is da best
i like him
Posted by: ann | Feb 24, 2005 8:28:06 AM
jon john tate matt
Posted by: nick | Feb 24, 2005 8:44:49 AM
lav JOHN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: hot | Feb 24, 2005 9:45:44 AM
Hello! As it is possible to subscribe for dispatch of news about a man's fashion. Interests all! Jeans, underwear, sexy fashion...
Posted by: Ellin | Mar 2, 2005 5:45:53 AM
OMG KEVIN IS SOOO SEXXCI even tho hes the inside guy.. im soo mad that hunter is gone:( i want jon to win cuzz hes beautiful and kevin cant win lol did i saw that i luv kevin in a speedo lamo:P lol
xoxMUAHxox
Posted by: Kylie | Mar 12, 2005 10:27:03 PM
OMG KEVIN IS SOOO SEXXCI even tho hes the inside guy.. im soo mad that hunter is gone:( i want jon to win cuzz hes beautiful and kevin cant win lol did i saw that i luv kevin in a speedo lamo:P lol
xoxMUAHxox
Posted by: Kylie | Mar 12, 2005 10:27:56 PM
Hey, I LOVE your writing and commentary on Manhunt! It's showing just about now in Singapore, and we're nearing the end, but it's still great reliving all the episodes via your blog - love the screen captures - some voyeuristic appeal to the haziness of static and the flickering blue-greenish hue of your pics...:) Oh, just sad that natural-born go-go boy Hunter got eliminated. He was so gorgeous. And such amazing hip and pelvic movement!
Posted by: Sean | Aug 4, 2005 3:32:24 AM
i like the show
i like the guys...some of them
i wish you luck!!!
Posted by: sweety | Aug 5, 2005 1:04:02 PM
KEVIN PEAKE IS A FUKIN HOTTIE
SEND ME SUM PICS PPPPLLLLLZZZZZZZZZ
LUV YA KEVIN
STACEY XOXO
Posted by: stacey | Dec 13, 2005 6:43:30 PM