Colin Farrell's Man on Man Movie Kiss Manual
If Alexander's excessive whispering of sweet nothings and Macedonian cock-teasing left you with a massive cinematic case of blue balls, join the club. For those who didn't see Alexander (most of you) or the other flick that demonstrates (fictionally of course) his massive initiative to arouse audiences in gay ghettos everywhere, A Home at the End of the World, here's a short pictorial journal on technique starring the sexed-up Irishman that shows us what acting's all about.*
Step 1: The hug. Prepare Mentally with Extended Embrace
"I was very uncomfortable doing it. As much as I love Dallas [Roberts] — and I got on great with him—I didn't enjoy it."
Step 2: The peck. Target lower lip in pre-emptive strike to avoid tongue
"As I said, I don't enjoy going to the fucking gym, and I'd prefer to lift weights for twenty minutes than kiss a guy for two seconds."
Step 3: The inhale. Hold breath and remember—it's just a movie.
"It taught me what I knew already: I don't like kissing boys."
Step 4: The plunge. Think as hard as possible about female sex organs.
"When you feel his stubble against your lip, it's repulsive to me, as repulsive to me as for a lot of gay men the idea of putting their tongue near a pussy is—something that, for me, is akin to heaven sometimes."
*Quotes from November GQ.