Manhunt Update: Let's Play [With] Ball[s]
This was perhaps the most bitchingly dull episode of Manhunt to date, though that hasn't stopped us from watching it yet. And I'm really sorry I suggested that drinking game last week, since there were no subtitles and Nair for Men got nary a mention, however they did get the word "metrosexual" in, which if not worth a gag is definitely worth a drink.
This episode, however, starts with a real eye-opener. Tate (you'll remember that last episode he brought a personal bottle of vino to the elimination round) has been so drunk the past few days that he didn't realize the show's producers had unpacked their luggage. He's been so drunk with his own private party he probably hasn't noticed the 
party that's been going on down in Hunter's pants either. No animals were hurt during the filming of this episode, but some monkeys were definitely spanked.
A note arrives at the door which Tate retrieves and promptly hands off to one of the other models, saying "I can't read. I can't even talk," as he heads back to the bedroom. The vodka's under the bed, after all.
"The Manhunt 6" as they're now apparently called, at least until the end of this episode, are to be treated with a taste of the good life, which, according to the show's producers, consists of appearing on Access Hollywood, eating sushi at Hollywood & Highland with some skanky hos, driving a Lamborghini, riding in a stretch 
limo, getting photographed walking into a club, partying at said club, and being followed the entire time by paparazzi pretending that since you're on Bravo TV you deserve the attention usually reserved for the Hilton sisters.
Kudos to Rob, whose experience in L.A. made him realize that this "good life" is probably closer to the ninth circle of hell. Rob continues to be the sanest stud of the bunch.
First stop was Access Hollywood, where host Shaun Robinson asks the boys to demonstrate the challenging tasks asked of models, like selling asthma equipment and doing push-ups. She has the gay task ready for Rob, whom she asks to "Strike your best pose." Rob does more of a spin, but that's okay, because we love him. When it comes down to Hunter and she asks him to do a handstand, he declares that he can't do a handstand unless he has his shirt off.
Then comes the most important part, "the synchronized ab reveal" which makes it perfectly clear that nobody gives a shit whether or not you can sell asthma equipment.
Then it's off to the beach for some football and a volleyball contest to see who gets to take a yellow Lamborghini for a test drive. Forget about the tired yellow car. This is just one more opportunity for Hunter to show off his gymnastic skills, for Rob to prove that gay boys really can't catch a ball, and for Maurice to show off his fine tight ass.
That night, the boys have dinner at Hollywood & Highland, overlooking "glamorous" Hollywood Boulevard which middle America doesn't know is really a filthy alley rife with homelessness, puddles of urine, and heroin addiction.
But first, some sage modeling advice from "embedded model" Kevin Peake: "There are so many moments when you're out with clients. How do you handle yourself in this situation? This is where people either get to loathe you or hate you." (Actually, he said "love" but it came out more like "loathe")
Well, they're not exactly out with "clients". Their "dates" are a group of bitchy "working" female models who quickly don't give a shit that they are out with Bravo reality TV contestants. "Shut the fuck up," Jon Jonsson murmurs under his breath, after the smoke-blowing dragons whip out more cigarettes and dive further into skanky self-obsession. Hunter doesn't seem to notice. He's too busy trying to get his fork through the sushi.
Rob is quick to see through it all: "Finally these guys were annoyed in the same way people were annoyed with them." After dinner it's off to White Lotus for some dancing, where photographers are waiting to click their picture as they walk into the club. More reason to love Rob: "If I was at the White Lotus waiting in line I'd be like, 'Who are those jokers?'"
At White Lotus, Hunter's "inner stripper" comes out. Need we remind you again, it's not so inner. I'm actually probably far too hard on Hunter, but he just makes it so easy. Really, to give the kid a break, he's a young guy from DeQueen (not making that up), Arkansas who probably hasn't been exposed to much. Doesn't mean he's not a psycho drama queen, but time will tell. Hunter gets busy at White Lotus, doing what he does best.
Note from the paparazzi: "I would say keep the shirt on, less dry humping."
Oh, and yes, there was a modeling shoot in this episode! Something having to do with leaning against buildings in suits. Anyway, there were clothes involved, so we were even less interested than Hunter.
Long story short. Let's cut to the chase here. Who gets cut and are there tears?
The photos that the paparazzi has been shooting surreptitiously are shown to the models, and since they really aren't that scandalous at all we move on quickly to the elimination, which is made all the more suspenseful with the announcement that next week the models will be going to Puerto Rico.
"Please, God..." Hunter mouths silently.
Meanwhile, the judges discuss Hunter's White Lotus antics. "What do you think his Bible study group is gonna say?" the judges wonder amongst each other. Answer: Not a lot considering they've probably already seen the photos of him spread-eagled on the bar at the Backstreet Dance Club in Little Rock.
Embedded model Kevin Peake comes in to confer. On Jon Jonsson: "I don't see the fire in his eyes." On Tate: "I don't see him having the best work ethic." Was it pissing in the cup or the personal stash of booze that gave it away?
Lesson learned:
"Bad boys of modeling don't last long."
Tate goes, dry-eyed (but likely not dry-mouthed), and we're down to five.
Past updates:
[Big Boys Don't Cry]
[Anyone Want Some Wood?]
[Attack of the Clones]
[A Rope to Hang Me With]
[Bitch Fest]
Posted Nov. 10,2004 at 7:42 PM EST by Andy Towle in Fashion Men, Film and TV | Permalink
I have to say, last night's photoshoot was really really good. It was a great photographer. One of my original complaints about the show was how horrible the photo shoots and images were in the first few episodes. I do hope that Rob wins, though. He just seems the best overall model.
Posted by: Patrick | Nov 10, 2004 7:54:56 PM
""glamorous" Hollywood Boulevard which middle America doesn't know is really a filthy alley rife with homelessness, puddles of urine, and heroin addiction."
HAH! YES! You non-LA readers should keep this in mind. I've seen tourists jump off the bus into the REAL Hollyood and nervously start sweating more than Michael Jackson in a Chuck-E-Cheese.
RE: Manhunt. I have to say, I respect Rob more and more each episode. I hope he gets it.
Posted by: M@ | Nov 10, 2004 8:29:45 PM
Seriously, did Hunter forget that he was on camera while he was playing in his pants?
Posted by: Darius | Nov 10, 2004 11:03:34 PM
Lest we forget, the one reference to a "metrosexual" was indeed, a homosexual.
Alcoholics around the globe are weeping that Tate has exited, except me.
Posted by: orbicon | Nov 10, 2004 11:13:55 PM
Although I did not get to watch some of the shows in full I at least don't feel like I missed anything because of this very website. Thanks Towler! Anyway, I have to agree that Rob is definately the best overall model and he certainly knows the lifstyle but is America and the rest of the Western World ready for someone who plays for the "other team"? I know that makes us happy but remember this is a contest for a Super Model that needs to appeal to the masses. I think Rob might be a little too perfect for Sally Office Worker or Joe Six Pack to relate to. I think someone who is more like Mark Wahlberg (Marky Mark) would fit the bill, you know, someone a little more rugged or tough. I still don't know who I think would work best but I know it's not Hunter. That dance number in the White Lotus really turned me off and I am suprised he was not the one to be told to "...take your picture and leave the gallery". Then it could have been Tate's turn to leave next week instead. (give him a break - like you would'nt have drank like that in the same situation? I'm sure you would have been the one trying to get these guys drunk had you been there yourself - ADMITT IT! (i would)
Posted by: Stern Edwards | Nov 10, 2004 11:34:05 PM
I've been to Hollywood and Highland (right?) twice.. it's not so bad once you perfect the skill of eye-contact-aversion - I practice that everyday on the streets of nyc...
Hm.. can a homosexual be a metrosexual? or is one a subset of the other? Makes ya think doesn't it... (I've also witnessed poor, misguided homo fashion victims though).
Posted by: jase | Nov 11, 2004 2:29:42 AM
You're a gem Andy! Only you could make reading about a show more fun than watching it! Last night was a total bore, unlike your post. What will we do without Manhunt...?
Posted by: lewis | Nov 11, 2004 3:25:50 AM
I thought I was just seeing things when it looked like Hunter was playing hockey in the corner of my screen! (No wonder he was so good at driving the ol' Lamborghini; he'd been practicing on his stick shift like THE DAY BEFORE.) I love the fact that in the scenes after he finally got his hands out of his pants he was doing half-hearted lateral scissor kicks -- just like housewives in the '50s did to keep their figures.
P.S. Maurice has creepy baby teeth.
Posted by: Jake | Nov 14, 2004 1:46:38 AM
thanks guys - great late night humor and good fodder on a mild episode of my latest trashy tv
Posted by: dj | Nov 15, 2004 11:29:00 PM